Why New York Giants’ Super Bowl victory is good for the economy - Ingles
New England may be in mourning over the outcome of Sunday’s nail-biter of a Super Bowl, but all is not lost: The Giants’ victory will provide a much-needed boost to the nation’s economy.
Sure, there could be a small boost to consumer spending as gamblers spend their winnings from betting on the inexplicably underdog Giants. But this is bigger than that. Much, much bigger.
On Tuesday, for the first time since the “Occupy” protesters were ousted from Zuccotti Park, thousands of members of the “99%” will descend on Lower Manhattan. But this time, instead of division and conflict, the gathering will foster unity as bankers, construction workers and busboys come together to celebrate a uniquely American story: the triumph of a less-talented younger brother over his more-talented brother’s more-talented arch-nemesis. A triumph that took place in a building built for the older brother, who will probably never play there again. A triumph secured when a 250-pound man accidentally scored a touchdown by falling backwards into the end zone. Heck, even Pats fans can take comfort in the fact that the Giants’ parade will royally tick off Jets fans.
Imagine the economic ripples to come: Goldman Sachs executives, caught up in the jubilant celebration outside their offices, decide to forgive billions in underwater mortgages. Homeowners, relieved of their burdensome debts, hit the stores to buy up Ahmad Bradshaw bobbleheads and some of those tough, American-made Chryslers that Clint Eastwood was talking about at halftime. The ensuing manufacturing renaissance restores American competitiveness, while the sudden fuel-efficiency gains from all those new cars help drive down oil prices, putting still more money in Americans’ wallets.
Meanwhile, New Englanders, forced to suffer a year in which only one of their sports teams won a national championship, return to the self-pitying bitterness that long fueled the local economy. MIT’s engineering geniuses develop a new fuel based on maple syrup, over night turning Vermont into an energy powerhouse and ending our dependence on foreign oil.
The Jets, desperate for attention following the Giants’ victory, hire Tim Tebow, bringing together East Coast liberals and Midwestern conservatives, who realize their differences aren’t as great as they once thought. Washington politicians, inspired by New York’s example, end their partisan infighting and agree on sensible, comprehensive budget reform, leaving the U.S. on firmer financial footing. Europe, seeing the power of football, gives up soccer entirely and experiences a sudden surge in productivity that miraculously resolves the continent’s debt crisis.
In short, the Giants’ victory ushers in an era of global prosperity. The grateful masses give the credit to Madonna, who boldly called for world peace at the end of her halftime performance. Eli Manning humbly lets her bask in the spotlight, his goofy grin giving no hint of his critical role ending poverty and conflict.
Oh, and the Red Sox win the 2012 World Series.
This article was written by Ben Casselman and appeared in the Wall Street Journal.
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